Surviving an affair has become a necessity and something too many couples are faced with. Besides death, there are only a handful of experiences that can result in the same level of pain, frustration and bitterness. It’s one thing to have irreconcilable differences. At least dealing with those differences, you feel like you tried. However, once cheating is involved, the cheating spouse has already thrown the marriage out.
Restoring your marriage after an affair is difficult. There is no way to predict how long it’s going to take before your marriage is fixed. I can tell you with great certainty that it’s going to be a roller coaster ride before it’s all over. The good news is that your marriage won’t be the first one to survive and affair. Unfortunately, millions of married couples have had to deal with infidelity.
Now, keep in mind that no two marriages are the same. What worked in fixing your friend or brother’s marriage may not work for you. Sometimes, it helps to know how other couples survived infidelity but don’t be disappointed if you copy someone else’s path and don’t get the same results. The good news is you don’t really need to do what other couples have done to restore your marriage. It’s just like advice that you get. Listen and take to heart what makes sense to you. What doesn’t make sense should go through one ear and out the other one.
So what does it take to survive an affair? Let’s just say it takes a whole lot of;
- Patience
- Commitment
- Strength & endurance
- Humbleness
- Discipline
- Faith
- Trust
- Forgiveness
- Honesty
- Self-control
- Gentleness
- Wisdom
- Love
As you can see, it takes a lot to survive infidelity. That’s why it still amazes me why some folks believe it’s not a big deal cheating. The pain that it causes is unbearable at times. It’s not enough to say I’m sorry, please forgive me and I’ll never cheat again.
One of the keys to surviving an affair is patience. You have to understand that the marriage you had is not coming back any time soon. What was destroyed in a single encounter may take months or years to get back. With both spouses being committed to saving the marriage, healing and restoration happens faster.
My biggest suggestion to couples dealing with an affair is work on one thing at a time. Don’t expect to recapture faith or trust or even love, overnight. You have to attack these one at a time.
Find out what you biggest challenge is and start working at overcoming it. Ask yourself daily what will it take to my marriage? If it’s trust, the next question is, what do you need to be able to trust again?
I recommend that you take some time and prioritize the above list. Once you have done’ so, ask yourself the questions. Your marriage will slowly begin to be restored. Just a little patience and dedication and you will see the complete transformation of your marriage.
