- Divorce

Hang in There: What To Do When You Are on the Verge of Divorce

Someone recently solicited my response to a thought that crosses many people’s minds: “What to do if my relationship is at an all-time low?”

If I had just one piece of advice to give to couples who were hanging by threads, considering divorce, I would say, “Hang in there.”


Hang in there, because you don’t know when a pivotal turnaround will take place. Hang in there because you love your partner enough to wait, pray, and hold out for a major breakthrough that you expect. Hang in there, because a rebirth of your relationship is within your grasp. Hang in there, because healing is around the corner.

“Hang in there” is for those who are positive thinkers. Waiting is not for the weak; it is for the strong who expect a brighter tomorrow.

Did you agree to vows that said something about, “until death do us part?” Did your vows say anything about “in sickness and in health?”

The three little words I would say are “Hang in there!” The most important consideration is that you BELIEVE that your marriage is worth it, that it can change and that you will do anything it takes to save your marriage.

If both parties want to save the marriage, that is the best news to a therapist’s ears! When one partner absolutely does not care about his or her partner, or if one is a narcissist or a diagnosed psychopath, restoring a once happy marriage might be very daunting.

Hang in there, just for today. Tomorrow might be better.

Tomorrow will be better if you choose for it to be better by your thoughts, words and actions. If you both want the marriage to work, there are simple things you can do to ensure a successful marriage. Yes – I am claiming that there are guarantees that you have the power to restore your marriage. It will probably morph into something different from what you had. It can actually be even better than what you had.

Hang in there. If you believe you are at rock bottom now, believe and decide that there will be happier days ahead. We often get what we focus on. Is all of your energy directed in a positive path of improvement and restoration, or are you focused on divorce? If you are focused on divorce, you are choosing divorce and putting your energy in that direction.

Are you praying and working toward improvement, or do you expect a dissolution in your marriage?

“Hang in there” is for fighters – and lovers.

About Grace Duffy

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