- Relationships

Memories Haunt

Memories haunt

Yes, they do, especially those which leave a scar on your memory lane forever. Though I refrain from peeping through the window of the past, at times one feels so helpless. These memories flashback like a movie and take you on a detour for hours and hours.

My detour of these haunting memories is quite painful. Every time I go on this detour my mind and heart ache and I smolder in the feelings of self-pity. I no longer want to be part of this agonizing journey anymore. I want a relief, which seems so remote now.

I always wonder, how the person whose presence once illuminated your memory lane can become so vulnerable as to haunt your memories forever. There is a logical reply that when we let a person get control of our heart, we give him all the reasons to use it the way he likes; either save it or break it. Since I provided him all the means to access my heart, he got the legal right to smash it the way he desired.

Elegant, inspirational and attractive are the qualities that would strike my mind whenever I would meet him. There was a magnetic touch in his personality that would pull my heart towards its magnetic influence. In the beginning, I considered this sudden attraction as a sort of idealistic impact that one has while admiring someone. However, within a short period, it was embarked upon me that it’s something deeper than the superficial feelings of considering someone your ideal or inspiration.

Then what it was? The answer was hidden in the way he reciprocated to my advances towards him. People always thought that he lived within the invisible walls of isolation with a tag of no man’s property, but once he opened the doors of this no man’s property for me I considered all the opinions of people null and void.

Soon I entered the phase which is considered by the poets and the romanticists as the most alluring and soothing phase of one’s life; LOVE! During this phase one soars like a bird and feel the fragrance of fresh flowers around oneself. You seem to be entangled in the seven colours of a colourful rainbow. You feel the presence of your love with every beat of your heart. This consoles your heart and mind like the cool soothing wind or the cool splashing waves of the ocean.

To my astonishment, in this phase of love, your memories are so refreshing. They shelter you to take refuge from the rest of the world and remain fettered in the unseen chains of your love.

Nothing in this world remains forever. Everything is meant to decay. So how could my memories give me this pleasing relief forever? Very soon all the favourable quotes, sayings and words about love became fake. Love no longer seemed an angel consoling my heart but appeared like a ferocious monster that is ready to engulf and devour me, loosening and tightening its grip around my neck, keeping me suspended between life and death.

He walked away, leaving me to drown into the deep grey sea of melancholy, where the sharp, razor teeth memories were ready to tear me apart forever. Ever since then I am tormented by the memories of that so-called phase of love that haunts me with every passing breath.

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